Barcelona Metropolis

All these approaches unite individuals and families around a shared need: the desire to share childrearing and receive support, both in material and emotional terms. The absence or inadequacy of family support is a significant factor prompting the pursuit of these connections. Yet, another critical aspect comes into play: the emergence of innovative parenting approaches that widens the gaps with previous generations. In the realm of pedagogy, these approaches converge under the term “respectful parenting”, a collection of perspectives advocating for emotional guidance for children. This entails addressing their emotional and relational needs with an awareness that was previously lacking. In recent years, paediatrics has also embraced a more attentive approach to the specific processes and rhythms of childhood in various areas, such as nutrition, sleep and motor development.

The experience of loneliness in parenting is not solely a consequence of the physical absence or distance of the extended family but also reaches a symbolic level, marked by unshared codes. Consequently, even with substantial family support crucial for daily tasks, it falls short of serving as the sought-after reference point in other contexts.

Reciprocity and cooperation in various forms

Communities centred around parenting emerge from a spectrum of needs that go beyond the material dimension. Nevertheless, this material aspect remains central, emphasising the integral role of sharing and exchanging resources within these spaces. Reciprocity and cooperation manifest in various forms, and a few examples are outlined below.

Firstly, there’s the non-monetary exchange of clothing, toys and childcare items, carrying notable economic implications. Secondly, there’s the collaborative sharing of caregiving responsibilities or the delegation of specific moments to other group members. Thirdly, the group collectively assumes economic costs, ranging from simple snacks to the rental of a space. Lastly, there’s the pooling of abundant and valuable cognitive capital, encompassing practical information on various topics (such as applying for a scholarship for summer camps), knowledge drawn from personal experiences (like insights into stages of development or nutrition), and individual strategies beneficial to others (for instance, child weaning techniques). This diverse sharing of resources not only forges but also strengthens the connections between individuals. Certain aspects of this shared experience significantly contribute to the formation of group identity and peer recognition – factors that family connections might find challenging to provide.

These spaces do not uniformly exist across society, or at least not in all their forms. The adoption of new parenting paradigms has been swifter among the middle and upper classes, as well as native families or those from culturally similar contexts (such as expats) with higher educational qualifications. This demographic profile is prevalent in many shared parenting initiatives of the “pre-school” type. However, working-class communities create more informal support networks that fulfil very similar functions.

Public-led initiatives

The increasing community initiatives led by public authorities to promote these spaces, often incorporating innovative perspectives, are contributing to democratising and dismantling the segregation often associated with respectful parenting projects. Noteworthy examples in the city of Barcelona include family spaces, explicitly designed to facilitate children’s free movement and open play. Additionally, there are workshops and lectures organised by libraries, community centres, crèches, and the Vila Veïna [“community house”] service, addressing diverse topics like screen usage, baby-led weaning (BLW) and boundary management.

Moreover, these spaces see a predominant presence of women, with mothers playing a more central role. This dynamic has a dual interpretation and poses a challenging yet surmountable balance. On the one hand, it reflects a patriarchal society that assigns the primary responsibility for caregiving to women, especially mothers. Considering this, it’s a matter of justice for fathers to actively participate in their rightful share of the responsibility, both within households and in community spaces, fostering a truly mixed environment. This reflects a shift towards a more egalitarian society, which, while not fully achieved, is making significant strides, especially in the realm of parenting.

On the other hand, it’s crucial to acknowledge that patriarchy has constructed an idealised image of the “good mother”, wholly dedicated to parenting. This serves as a societal expectation that often instils considerable unease in mothers who feel they never quite measure up to the standard of “doing it well enough”. In response to this, spaces among mothers become particularly meaningful, offering a platform for deconstructing the patriarchal societal norm through interactions with peers. Strength blossoms from unity.

It’s also imperative not to overlook the biological dimension of having gestated, given birth and, in many cases, breastfed – matters that are frequently addressed in community parenting spaces precisely due to their feminisation. In this context, the gathering of mothers can be highly empowering, but it should not imply perpetuating the feminisation of caregiving responsibilities. Less common but noteworthy is the emergence of groups of fathers seeking this peer space to challenge the patriarchal social mandate that deprives them of active involvement and full co-responsibility as fathers. Their goal is to collectively construct an alternative.