Barcelona Metropolis

The redefinition of fatherhood opens up optimistic possibilities but raises some questions. Why do men receive praise for assuming responsibilities traditionally shouldered by women, responsibilities that have historically lacked recognition? Could we be inadvertently perpetuating a “mystique” around new fatherhoods that, once more, reinforces men’s privileged positions? It’s about changing the rules of the game to build a truly equal democracy.

Last year, the writer Andrés Neuman published Umbilical, a beautifully titled book, in which he articulated the experience of fatherhood, shedding light on its role in a narrative historically dominated by the female perspective. In an interview coinciding with the book’s launch, he expressed, “I have listened to many mothers to broaden my own role, which, while distinct from the mother’s, is closer, more intimate, and instinctive than I had imagined. Men are currently engaged in a phase of active listening, of listening attentively, aimed at gleaning a more precise and equitable understanding of women’s roles and multiple experiences, enabling us to redefine our own”.[1]. This redefinition process has recently come to the fore thanks to various publications delving into the essence of fatherhood[2]. The media’s has also shown interest in these “new fatherhoods”, inevitably sparking the emergence of a distinct market niche[3]. At the same time, there is a surge in proposals for activities, conferences and events emphasising concepts such as positive fatherhood[4].

These developments are unfolding in a landscape in which feminist progress is triggering a global response and a dangerous reactionary discourse fuelled by the far right. This discourse is casting a renewed shadow of misogyny over the “manosphere”[5]. The growing awareness of equality is shaking the foundations of the patriarchal order and macho culture, leaving a majority of men navigating with a broken compass[6].

While a substantial sector chooses complacent passivity, a growing number – hopefully – are actively engaged in dismantling internalised misogyny. Within this latter group, many men openly acknowledge that the experience of fatherhood has been instrumental in prompting self-reflection.

Public authorities have played a pivotal role in driving these transformations. While, over an extended period, the concept of “reconciliation” burdened women with the responsibility of balancing work and family life, the objective of shared responsibility has gradually gained traction. In this regard, the lengthening of paternity leave to match maternity leave represents noteworthy progress[7], notwithstanding the evident shortcomings of the model[8].

Hence, we must cultivate a new intelligence capable of addressing the complexities of the present while dismantling the hierarchical gender order. The pathway for women should not be assimilation into hegemonic masculinity, and likewise, for men, it shouldn’t be a sole retreat into emotional subjectivity. Both men and women are misguided if they fail to recognise that this is about changing the rules of the game, transcending hierarchical relationships, and deconstructing male and masculinised powers. In essence, this involves progressing beyond formally equal democracies to make them genuinely gender equal. This transition is inherently revolutionary and, naturally, necessitates caring men and engaged fathers. However, it also urgently calls for more than just therapies and positive sentiments. What is needed is a public and collective commitment to forge a new social contract. It requires an increase in democracy and an expansion of the social state. And, of course, it advocates for less normative masculinity, encouraging more men to share responsibilities, but most importantly, fostering an anti-machismo and egalitarian ethos.

References

Bacete, R. Papá. Planeta, Madrid, 2021.

González López, M. J. Padres y madres corresponsables: una utopía real. La Catarata, Madrid, 2015.

Lorente Acosta, M. La refundación del machismo. Editorial Comares, Granada, 2023.

Marrades Puig, A. (coord.). El reconocimiento de los derechos del cuidado. Tirant lo Blanch, València, 2023.

Neuman, A. Umbilical. Alfaguara, Barcelona, 2022.

Pazos Morán, M. Contra el patriarcado. Economía feminista para una sociedad justa y sostenible. La Catarata, Madrid, 2018.

Salazar Benítez, O. La vida en común. Galaxia Gutenberg, Madrid, 2021.

Sanfélix Albelda, J. La brújula rota de la masculinidad. Tirant lo Blanch, València, 2020.

Shapiro, J. Cómo ser un padre feminista. Plataforma Editorial, Barcelona, 2022.

Zambra, A. Literatura infantil. Anagrama, Barcelona, 2023.